General Discussions
This is the place to discuss general issues related to the U-boat war or the war at sea in WWII.
Jast so stories
Posted by:
Yuri IL\'IN
()
Date: June 04, 2001 11:01PM
<HTML>
Girl asks the seaman:
- Say, is sea beautiful?
- Excuse me please. I never it saw. I am submariners.
-----------------------------------------------------
Late night. From the bar is selected the fairly rumpled and dranked
Captain 3 rank (i.e. Lieutenant Commander, Capitaine de corvette;
Korvettenkapitan; Capitano di Corvetta; Kommendorkapten; Komentajakapteeni;
Komandor podporucznik; Capitan de rangul 3; Korvetne kapitan;
Orlogskaptajn; Kaptenmajor; Kapetan korvete; Torzsalkapitany; Rav-Seren)
with the briefcase by armpit. Without having kept balance,
further way continues on the \"autopilot and on all fours.
On the way - sewerage hatchway. With difficulty after moving cast iron
hatch cover, Captain 3 rank lowers there his head and, without
opening eyes, he growls:
- Ai, in the Central, do you trap briefcase? But now - me!
------------------------------------------------------
Two gallant black fellows enter into the common department of
man bath. Only after waiting to them with a \"tricky\" question it
come one of that being washing:
- Hi, negroes, and why these are you both such black.
But in the fact that to the left this anomaly: penis not black, but white?
- Yes Ser. We are not negroes. We are submariners! Don\'t turn attention to
Wassily. simply to it yesterday wife to the leave of absence did arrive?
-------------------------------------------------------
From the life of the Northern fleet of the times of the \"revelry\" of Perestroika:
Submarine stands at the pier. In the wardroom the common meeting of a crew occurs.
Commander of the submarine: \"Comrades submariners! In front output, and
once already began democracy, I am advised you: as them let us conduct?\"
Young Warrant Officer: \"I have birthday on Saturday. Let\'s go to the restaurant.
Hear we consact time well!\"
They wrote down in the protocol as the first proposal.
The boatswain rises: \"What restaurant! Military policy, high rank commanders and other around
Let\'s submarine lie on the soil directly near the pier.
We have hear lot of alcohol. When we will be in normal condition finally,
let us float, however in what it is unprecedented\"
They wrote down in the protocol as the second proposal.
The motor mechanic pulls hand: \"The diesel of the starboard knocks. Let us sort out its everything together!\"
Than not proposal? They wrote down this too.
It rises by Deputy Commander for Political Affairs: \"It\'s a good idea to conduct political meeting
\"Perestroika aboard our ship - matter of all and each\"\"
Well. More than proposals did not enter.
Uproar began and disputes that are better, until commander cracks with
cam on the table: \"We here consulted themselves and solved:
If democracy, so democracy... Let us toss up upward the coin: it will fall
to the eagle - we go to the restaurant, it will fall to the tail - we drink
under water, it will fall to the edge/fin - we repair diesel, and if it
hangs in air - anywhere you will not disappear, we carry out political meeting!\"
--------------------------------------------------------
Emergency situation.
Submarine lies/rests on the bottom. To blow through ballast fails itself.
Commander takes \"Kashtan\" and say:
\"Guys in the sections, I have two news for you
First news is poor. Second news is good.
First news: we have air only for 2 hours
Second news: we have foodstuffs for 70 days.
--------------------------------------------------------------
The submariner returning from long range march and took a girl.
They come to her home, rapidly undress.
Girl looks at the fellow and astonished asks:
- what strange linen you do bear?
- well, you understand, expensive. I serve on the atomic cruising submarine.
Radiation, entire such - these are lead cowards.
Girl understand nods and suddenly it notes that on the feet of seaman
there are no fingers.
- What is that? - she asks.
- Yes. You understand. At the last march, the elastic on my
cowards broke...
---------------------------------------------------------------
Float two submarines - Russian and American.
Well, on the tradition Captains must come out to the deck and be greeted.
Americans prevent their Captain:
- Tell them nothing bad. Russian such strange people. At ones begin
\"First section torpedo attack \"
American leaves and shouts to the Russian:
- Hello Russian!
Russian shouts:
- What!? Khrenovo pokrashen (Is bad colored)!? The first cut off section torpedo attack of!
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Yang sailor purchased the dictionary of marine terms.
Its poly-fixture, he noted with the disappointment:
\"Some small and incomplete dictionary to me they slipped!
I cannot here find any word of that used by our boatsman.\"
------------------------------------------------------------------
During the floating the navigator poses the question to Deputy Commander for Political Affairs:
- guess: sun of my mother, but not my brother. Who is this?
- Deputy Commander for Political Affairs after 5 minute meditations:
- I do not know.
Navigator: - This is myself.
Excellent joke! does speak Deputy Commander for Political Affairs
I shell ask that to Commander.
Deputy Commander for Political Affairs puts head into the cabin of commander and speaks:
- Comrade Commander, guess riddle; - the son of my mother, but not my brother. Who is this?
The Commander and after 10 seconds answered:
- I do not know.
Deputy Commander for Political Affairs
- This is our navigator!
</HTML>
Girl asks the seaman:
- Say, is sea beautiful?
- Excuse me please. I never it saw. I am submariners.
-----------------------------------------------------
Late night. From the bar is selected the fairly rumpled and dranked
Captain 3 rank (i.e. Lieutenant Commander, Capitaine de corvette;
Korvettenkapitan; Capitano di Corvetta; Kommendorkapten; Komentajakapteeni;
Komandor podporucznik; Capitan de rangul 3; Korvetne kapitan;
Orlogskaptajn; Kaptenmajor; Kapetan korvete; Torzsalkapitany; Rav-Seren)
with the briefcase by armpit. Without having kept balance,
further way continues on the \"autopilot and on all fours.
On the way - sewerage hatchway. With difficulty after moving cast iron
hatch cover, Captain 3 rank lowers there his head and, without
opening eyes, he growls:
- Ai, in the Central, do you trap briefcase? But now - me!
------------------------------------------------------
Two gallant black fellows enter into the common department of
man bath. Only after waiting to them with a \"tricky\" question it
come one of that being washing:
- Hi, negroes, and why these are you both such black.
But in the fact that to the left this anomaly: penis not black, but white?
- Yes Ser. We are not negroes. We are submariners! Don\'t turn attention to
Wassily. simply to it yesterday wife to the leave of absence did arrive?
-------------------------------------------------------
From the life of the Northern fleet of the times of the \"revelry\" of Perestroika:
Submarine stands at the pier. In the wardroom the common meeting of a crew occurs.
Commander of the submarine: \"Comrades submariners! In front output, and
once already began democracy, I am advised you: as them let us conduct?\"
Young Warrant Officer: \"I have birthday on Saturday. Let\'s go to the restaurant.
Hear we consact time well!\"
They wrote down in the protocol as the first proposal.
The boatswain rises: \"What restaurant! Military policy, high rank commanders and other around
Let\'s submarine lie on the soil directly near the pier.
We have hear lot of alcohol. When we will be in normal condition finally,
let us float, however in what it is unprecedented\"
They wrote down in the protocol as the second proposal.
The motor mechanic pulls hand: \"The diesel of the starboard knocks. Let us sort out its everything together!\"
Than not proposal? They wrote down this too.
It rises by Deputy Commander for Political Affairs: \"It\'s a good idea to conduct political meeting
\"Perestroika aboard our ship - matter of all and each\"\"
Well. More than proposals did not enter.
Uproar began and disputes that are better, until commander cracks with
cam on the table: \"We here consulted themselves and solved:
If democracy, so democracy... Let us toss up upward the coin: it will fall
to the eagle - we go to the restaurant, it will fall to the tail - we drink
under water, it will fall to the edge/fin - we repair diesel, and if it
hangs in air - anywhere you will not disappear, we carry out political meeting!\"
--------------------------------------------------------
Emergency situation.
Submarine lies/rests on the bottom. To blow through ballast fails itself.
Commander takes \"Kashtan\" and say:
\"Guys in the sections, I have two news for you
First news is poor. Second news is good.
First news: we have air only for 2 hours
Second news: we have foodstuffs for 70 days.
--------------------------------------------------------------
The submariner returning from long range march and took a girl.
They come to her home, rapidly undress.
Girl looks at the fellow and astonished asks:
- what strange linen you do bear?
- well, you understand, expensive. I serve on the atomic cruising submarine.
Radiation, entire such - these are lead cowards.
Girl understand nods and suddenly it notes that on the feet of seaman
there are no fingers.
- What is that? - she asks.
- Yes. You understand. At the last march, the elastic on my
cowards broke...
---------------------------------------------------------------
Float two submarines - Russian and American.
Well, on the tradition Captains must come out to the deck and be greeted.
Americans prevent their Captain:
- Tell them nothing bad. Russian such strange people. At ones begin
\"First section torpedo attack \"
American leaves and shouts to the Russian:
- Hello Russian!
Russian shouts:
- What!? Khrenovo pokrashen (Is bad colored)!? The first cut off section torpedo attack of!
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Yang sailor purchased the dictionary of marine terms.
Its poly-fixture, he noted with the disappointment:
\"Some small and incomplete dictionary to me they slipped!
I cannot here find any word of that used by our boatsman.\"
------------------------------------------------------------------
During the floating the navigator poses the question to Deputy Commander for Political Affairs:
- guess: sun of my mother, but not my brother. Who is this?
- Deputy Commander for Political Affairs after 5 minute meditations:
- I do not know.
Navigator: - This is myself.
Excellent joke! does speak Deputy Commander for Political Affairs
I shell ask that to Commander.
Deputy Commander for Political Affairs puts head into the cabin of commander and speaks:
- Comrade Commander, guess riddle; - the son of my mother, but not my brother. Who is this?
The Commander and after 10 seconds answered:
- I do not know.
Deputy Commander for Political Affairs
- This is our navigator!
</HTML>
