Warship forum
A forum for the Allied Warships section.
Re: HMS Odzani
Posted by:
Ken Dunn
()
Date: January 18, 2004 03:53PM
<HTML>Hi Barry,
I find myself in the same position as you – my dad has passed away and now I want to know every detail of his service during the war and there is no way to do that now.
In my case my dad was willing to talk about it but I had to ask – he didn’t mention it otherwise. All I had to do was ask though and he would answer any question. Sadly I didn’t ask enough of the right questions and now it is too late. He is gone and so are any other family members who might have known the details. I am very thankful that I did ask some questions on a number of occasions but as a kid I just wasn’t interested in the things I am now interested in.
Talking about their war experiences is very difficult for many of these vets. Many lost dear friends in the war – men they had shared danger and hardship with and as a result had become like family to them. Others can’t talk about it because it brings back memories of things that happened to them that are too painful to want to bring back. Many had nightmares for years after the war and some still do.
My relatives all told me that the war changed my dad but I didn’t think to ask for the details and again it is too late now.
My point in all of this is that perhaps it will help others who read this post to take the time right now to talk to their loved ones who served in a war about their experiences while they are still alive. Let them know that you are interested. Document what you find as best as you can. If you can get them to write down their experiences so much the better but don’t let it end there if you can help it. Ask questions and record the answers. Audiotape, videotape, pen & paper – use whatever media works best in your situation but get it down in their own words. Don’t rely on your own memory. It will fail in time.
I have been searching for survivors form my dad’s ship and the other ships sunk by the same U-boat that sank dad’s ship and I have had some luck. Every survivor I have found has told me their story but when I offered to share all of my research with them one of them declined. He was kind enough to share his story with me but he just wanted to forget the war because of the loss of so many of his close friends. We have to respect that too. If they can’t talk about it we must accept that and not hound them about it. I didn’t know this man felt that way when I asked my questions and now that I know I haven’t asked him any more questions. Perhaps in time once they know you are really interested in their story they will be able to share at least some parts of it. Meanwhile keep an eye out for any documents they might have from that time. Sometimes old letters, commendations, family scrapbooks, etc get stuck in the attic and eventually are thrown away. Preserve what there is to preserve – you won’t regret it.
In my case when my aunt passed away a couple of years ago (she was the last relative that might have known anything about dad’s experiences in the war) I had to deal with the final disposition of her property and while going through her attic I found an old photo album with a few photos of my dad during the war. It was in terrible condition. The roof had leaked on it and bugs had munched on it but some of the photos were still usable. It was in such bad shape I almost threw it out without looking to see what was inside. Those photos are precious to me now. I have very few photos of him. My point here is don’t neglect other family members while doing your research. They just might have something squirreled away in their attic that even they have forgotten about.
When we are young we tend to not be in a hurry to document our family history. I guess we just don’t want to think about the time when our loved ones are going to be gone but we need to. We all have to go someday.
If you are a vet (of any war) don’t let this happen to your kids. Write down your experiences and gather the documents and photos for them even if they don’t seem to care a thing about your experiences right now. Be as open as you can with them about your experiences in the war. Someday they or perhaps their children will want to know and they will be grateful for your thoughtfulness. Understanding what happens to people who have to fight a war may ultimately help prevent wars so try to include the parts that are hardest to talk about in your documentation as well as everything else you can think of. Include the names and location of anyone who served with you who might be able to tell of your experiences after you are gone too. In addition to the details of your service, why you went to fight and what you thought while you were fighting as well as what your thoughts on the war were after it was over are important things your loved ones will want to know so try to make them understand.
Regards,
Ken Dunn</HTML>
I find myself in the same position as you – my dad has passed away and now I want to know every detail of his service during the war and there is no way to do that now.
In my case my dad was willing to talk about it but I had to ask – he didn’t mention it otherwise. All I had to do was ask though and he would answer any question. Sadly I didn’t ask enough of the right questions and now it is too late. He is gone and so are any other family members who might have known the details. I am very thankful that I did ask some questions on a number of occasions but as a kid I just wasn’t interested in the things I am now interested in.
Talking about their war experiences is very difficult for many of these vets. Many lost dear friends in the war – men they had shared danger and hardship with and as a result had become like family to them. Others can’t talk about it because it brings back memories of things that happened to them that are too painful to want to bring back. Many had nightmares for years after the war and some still do.
My relatives all told me that the war changed my dad but I didn’t think to ask for the details and again it is too late now.
My point in all of this is that perhaps it will help others who read this post to take the time right now to talk to their loved ones who served in a war about their experiences while they are still alive. Let them know that you are interested. Document what you find as best as you can. If you can get them to write down their experiences so much the better but don’t let it end there if you can help it. Ask questions and record the answers. Audiotape, videotape, pen & paper – use whatever media works best in your situation but get it down in their own words. Don’t rely on your own memory. It will fail in time.
I have been searching for survivors form my dad’s ship and the other ships sunk by the same U-boat that sank dad’s ship and I have had some luck. Every survivor I have found has told me their story but when I offered to share all of my research with them one of them declined. He was kind enough to share his story with me but he just wanted to forget the war because of the loss of so many of his close friends. We have to respect that too. If they can’t talk about it we must accept that and not hound them about it. I didn’t know this man felt that way when I asked my questions and now that I know I haven’t asked him any more questions. Perhaps in time once they know you are really interested in their story they will be able to share at least some parts of it. Meanwhile keep an eye out for any documents they might have from that time. Sometimes old letters, commendations, family scrapbooks, etc get stuck in the attic and eventually are thrown away. Preserve what there is to preserve – you won’t regret it.
In my case when my aunt passed away a couple of years ago (she was the last relative that might have known anything about dad’s experiences in the war) I had to deal with the final disposition of her property and while going through her attic I found an old photo album with a few photos of my dad during the war. It was in terrible condition. The roof had leaked on it and bugs had munched on it but some of the photos were still usable. It was in such bad shape I almost threw it out without looking to see what was inside. Those photos are precious to me now. I have very few photos of him. My point here is don’t neglect other family members while doing your research. They just might have something squirreled away in their attic that even they have forgotten about.
When we are young we tend to not be in a hurry to document our family history. I guess we just don’t want to think about the time when our loved ones are going to be gone but we need to. We all have to go someday.
If you are a vet (of any war) don’t let this happen to your kids. Write down your experiences and gather the documents and photos for them even if they don’t seem to care a thing about your experiences right now. Be as open as you can with them about your experiences in the war. Someday they or perhaps their children will want to know and they will be grateful for your thoughtfulness. Understanding what happens to people who have to fight a war may ultimately help prevent wars so try to include the parts that are hardest to talk about in your documentation as well as everything else you can think of. Include the names and location of anyone who served with you who might be able to tell of your experiences after you are gone too. In addition to the details of your service, why you went to fight and what you thought while you were fighting as well as what your thoughts on the war were after it was over are important things your loved ones will want to know so try to make them understand.
Regards,
Ken Dunn</HTML>
| Subject | Written By | Posted |
|---|---|---|
HMS Odzani
|
Barry Henderson | 01/01/2004 02:53PM |
|
Re: HMS Odzani
|
David J Freeman | 01/18/2004 05:19AM |
|
Re: HMS Odzani
|
Barry Henderson | 01/18/2004 10:53AM |
|
Re: HMS Odzani
|
Ken Dunn | 01/18/2004 03:53PM |
|
Re: HMS Odzani
|
Peggy Bell | 07/14/2011 10:23AM |
|
Re: HMS Odzani
|
Peter Longhurst | 08/09/2009 02:46PM |
|
Re: HMS Odzani
|
harold dennis | 11/12/2013 07:47PM |
|
Re: HMS Odzani
|
Michael Green | 07/08/2014 08:58PM |